Lone thoughts on a high wire

The moon has been pulling me in the night to light upon my feet and notice the play of the moon to my up turned face through the open window. I have had trouble returning to dreams as I am in a season of such Tsunami like activity that my sometimes quiet mind will begin to chatter with worry. The thoughts are chattering like many birds on a wire, "what?, where is the food?, oh man look at that cat?, look out the wind is blowing?, Its cold, where is my next meal coming from?, That bird over there has been making faces at me, why doesn't the lady refill the bird bath?" Only my thoughts are more along the line of "When will I be able to move?, who is going to buy our home?, how are we going to make it financially?, what if I can't get well?, wonder what that pain in my leg is? Is my life ever going to get better? What does the future hold?"  I take a deep breath and realize that I am allowing all of those chattering birds of thoughts and worries steal my peace. I realize that in the midst of the crowd of anxious thoughts is the lone bird that is speaking softly "Peace be still" The lone bird isn't anxious or afraid. It trusts that GOD is in control and will make all things right in his will and in his time. I realize I have to really try to hear the lone birds thoughts. They can easily be drowned out by the roar of the chattering birds on the wire above. But if I will stop and breathe and say a prayer for peace, I have the ears to hear and the eyes to see a better way. The way of peace.

Simply love Organic: Venus and the moon

Simply love Organic: Venus and the moon: They hang like earthly friends in a cosmos sky Dancing in Gods creation The music of Brahms perhaps within their ears Sharing the wonde...

Venus and the moon

They hang like earthly friends in a cosmos sky
Dancing in Gods creation
The music of Brahms
perhaps within their ears

Sharing the wonder of the universe
in the galaxies of awe
They are content to be brilliant
Just by hanging together
on the star corner of infinity

Selah

Darkness and Dawn

I love how darkness lifts at dawn. A metaphor for life in the aftermath of any type of trauma. We imagine we will never see the light of day again and then the pink begins and the yellow splashes a joyous stroke and the mystery of Gods awakening on that first morning in the garden becomes apparent to even the most jaded and broken amongst us! We begin to see shadows of the things around us and as we strain our eyes the horizon becomes a possibility that registers in our brains. Look, there is life out there!

Choices

There is a saying in the wind that calls me to begin
I have choices
I can chose to give in to feelings that want me to quit
or snarl
or say an unkind word to a stranger or friend
Or I can hold my tongue until tomorrow
and trust that the storm within me will have passed
and the light upon a face will shine
I can chose
I can bring to this day a smile or a laugh
a hand that reaches out
a forgiveness of the past
I can chose
to believe in goodness and God
instead of screaming messages of indifference
that say "You don't matter to anyone"
I can chose
to be kind when I am hurt
to be gentle when I am pushed
to be humble when I am strong
to be easy when I am wound tight
I can chose
in this dark night
to wait for dawn
to begin again
to brush my hair
and love the stranger on the street
the child crying at my feet
the haughty woman in the third row
the glaring finger of the driver on the road
I can chose

Choices bring us closer to the world we want to see
All I can do is change me

Wild Prairie Ranch

It's in the grass that blows
the cold fingers of winter grab my heart and throw my dreams
They tumble like the weeds that will remind us of parched lands

We are the soil barren
We are the wandering weed
We are the search of something wild
within
this test of travel
a new stretch
called Home
Prairie
Wild

Home for the bewildered

It's ironic that the girl who writes about organic living is now fighting the after effects of a massive herbicide/pesticide poisoning that came from the farm behind us. My once organic farm is now contaminated by drift from the acreage behind us and I can never go home again and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. For the past 7 weeks I was fighting for my life with some of the most painful symptoms I have ever known. Unable to eat my weight plummeted to 84 pounds. Just a few days ago I went back on solid food after weeks of pureed baby food. It simply defies understanding.

I am learning some valuable lessons about life. One, Life is never fair. Two, people in our country have placed value in things and not beings. Three, I have found kindness in strangers. Four, I know who truly loves me and they are few and far between.

We are currently in the process of living out of some new friends home and renovating a very run down small home on the prairie with a huge expanse of land all around us and the wind dancing through the grass. Winter is fast approaching and our sanity hangs by the tether of faith. With funds in short supply and our beloved Trolley farm yet to find it's next owner, we are living by faith and the kindness of strangers and the hope for a better life in the wilds of the prairie.

No happy ending to report at this time.
Just a moment of sheer bewilderment at the turn of events on our lives and the understanding that we can't often see our future and we must learn to roll with the deep waters that can sweep through our lives and leave us breathless.